Panic Attack

omigod. what’s happening? why is my chest so tight? am I having a heart attack? jesus, I’m sweating. why is my heart pounding so hard? calm down, it’s just anxiety. but what if it’s not? damn, I can’t feel my hands. is my vision getting blurry? god, my heart just skipped. is it still beating? I’m going to pass out. get up! walk around. go outside and get some fresh air. that’s a little better. what if I have a heart attack out here? how long will it take for somebody to find me? breathe deeply. ahhh. I don’t want to go back inside. it’s too hot and close in there. pinch my hands. do I feel anything? maybe a little. is the fog shifting in and out? keep walking, get some circulation going. swing my arms. my throat is dry. need a drink of water. go back inside. drinking fountain. whew! that’s a little better. damn, it’s hot in here. open a window, feel the breeze. sit down. my legs feel funny. are my feet numb? move them around a little. kick one foot with the other to see if I feel anything. there's a hissing sound in my ears. I think I’m going to die. should I have someone call 911? does anybody here know CPR? how long can I live if my heart stops beating? not long enough for the ambulance to get here. calm down! it’s just a panic attack. put your head down for a minute. no, that doesn’t work. it gives me trouble breathing. deep breaths. that’s it. in slowly. hold it for a second. not too long. let it out slowly. jeez. am I getting enough oxygen? can you die from a panic attack? no, if I pass out I’ll automatically breathe, I think. okay, get up and go to the bathroom. get another drink of cold water. sit down and close eyes. chest isn’t so tight. burp. some indigestion. that feels a little better. stomach and chest don’t feel so bad. another sip of water. deep breath. pinch myself. yeah, there’s some feeling there. man, this sucks. all right, I think I’m okay now.


Thank God I don't have these anymore.